SCOTT O'HARA, MY IDOL
I recently had the pleasure of sharing some e-mail with porn star Will Clark. Surprisingly I found a very literate, well-spoken man who had known Scott for a brief period of time and had exchanged some e-mail with him. He kindly offered to share it with us on this website. Will, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your kindness is most appreciated. BTW, go see this ultra-sexy man at his own incredibly well-designed website
Date 98-02-02 145417 EST
From SFOHara
To WillClark1
As you can tell, I've been subsumed no, I'm not entirely dependent on the electronic succubus yet, but it's working its way into all aspects of my life. Editors, you know ... they want everything NOW. Still feels ... unclean, somehow.
Play's up & running; I'm mostly ignoring it, now. Reviews have been, to put it charitably, mixed. "No Plot!" the Examiner screamed. Audiences are also divided. Some love it, lots leave at intermission. But it's still selling out ... largely, I presume, due to my name-recognition. People will know better, next time around.
I've gotten feelers from Ed Decker, at New Conservatory Theatre here, about turning Autopornography into a one- (or more-) person show. He's also come up with a rather interesting idea for some kind of public forum/appearance/talk show type thing with various pornstars ... your name came up immediately, of course, but then I don't know too many other pornstars who I'd want to hear talk, so there's a limited range.
Chemotherapy continues. Nasty. I'm not in the best of shape right now. But improving. I may yet make it through.
Which is all, for now ... oh yes, I may or may not be coming to OutWrite in Boston at the end of the month; mostly depends on how I'm feeling. If I do, I plan on stopping in NYC for a couple of days ... if that is indeed still your city of residence, I'd love to say hi.
love,
Scott
Subj Fundraisers
Date 98-02-05 111605 EST
From SFOHara
To Willclark1
The AIDS Emergency Fund is of course an admirable cause, and congratulations on doing so much work for it; but it's far from sufficient inducement to overcome my revulsion for bars, so I won't be seeing you at either Daddy's or the Powerhouse. I should still be in town for most of that period, however, still doing my hermit impression (easier than ever, with e-mail) and entertaining occasional gentleman callers ... I know how busy these work trips can be, but if you find yourself at loose ends some morning when the bar crowd has yet to open its eyes, give a call. I'm usually up at seven or thereabouts. (It's that Midwestern Lutheran work ethic thingy, no doubt.)
Delighted to hear that you're soaring on clouds of romantic bliss. NO,
REALLY, I MEAN IT. I'm not being even the teensiest little bit sarcastic. Grab every scrap of happiness while you can. Tell me all the juicy details.
As for me, I'm equally happy to be OUT of love, for the time being. It makes for a nice change; and I'm confident that the poles will reverse their polarity in due course. Chris & I are working, hesitantly, on being friends, instead. Takes lots more effort, after being enamored.
Cheerily,
Scott
Subj your latest e-mail
Date 98-02-09 021735 EST
From SFOHara
To WillClark1
Friday morning, I logged on to discover an e-mail from you. I think it was titled 'Fundraisers.' I clicked on it, and watched a beachball for some time ... at which point, suddenly, I was kicked off aol, and my system suddenly refused to operate. Total crash.
I'm assuming it was merely coincidental that this happened when I was
downloading a letter from you. If I'm wrong, and I've offended you so
mortally that this was your way of responding ... well, I'm better at giving offense -- accidentally, yet -- than I ever dreamed I could be.
After considerable back-and-forth with various tech support people, I did manage to re-format my hard drive (and I'd backed up everything just days before, so relatively little was lost). The tech support who was most helpful was of the (strongly held) opinion that it was all due to OS 8, which he called a "corrupt system." (I really wasn't asking for political commentary.) I can accept that verdict, and I've reverted to good old 7.6, with no regrets ... I never really liked 8, too many bells & whistles (and it seemed to gobble memory by the megabyte). Anyhow ... when I eventually got back on-line, your message (as well as the other one that had been waiting for me) had been eaten in the crash, so I never got to read it. Which is the long and overly detailed way of saying Send Again, Please.
Things are better now, thank you. For a day or so, I wasn't too happy with the wonders of modern technology; but placidity has been restored.
best,
Scott
Subj Hey, I'm Adaptable
Date 98-02-11 134024 EST
From SFOHara
To WillClark1
For what it's worth, my blessings on you & xxx, and I can't wait to meet him. Cynical I may be, but I call myself a Romantic Cynic as long as it lasts, I believe in throwing myself 100% into it (while never giving any credence to any of that 'til death do us part' bushwa, which seems like a ticket to an early demise). But as long as it's giving both of you pleasure ... congratulations. That's what it's all about.
Wish I could be of assistance in your quest to by syndicated, but I've had no luck myself along those lines. Mike Salinas couldn't be more charming, but he just told me, sorry, we don't have space for another columnist. And I've even stopped sending Pittsburgh's OUT my column that debuted two years ago ... after the Long Island rag folded, it didn't seem worth continuing to write it for just one outlet. And I'm just not a marketing type. Yeah, I was approached by some guy in L.A. who wanted to be my 'agent' — and take a 50% cut — but he was just a little bit too slimy for my taste. But then, 'success', in that sense, has never been my goal in life. I feel that I've succeeded beyond my wildest dreams, and it hasn't been through trying to succeed, it's been through doing what I want to do, and lo and behold, recognition came along. Serendipitously. My only problem, right now, is that having realized all these dreams, I'm not quite sure what it is that I want to
do next. Eventually, something will present itself, I'm sure ... but at the
moment, I'm at something of a loss. The most concrete goal I can define, right now, is 'staying alive.' Which, given the circumstances, is admittedly a full-time project; but it's also not really accomplishing a helluva lot.
I'm on jury duty this week and next ... I've never received a summons before, and I was rather looking forward to it. New experience and all, you know. Something a writer should experience. Well ... it's every bit as stultifyingly boring as everyone ever told me. I spent most of Monday sitting there, and around 3 p.m., the prosecuting attorney finally told me, "Thanks, but you have opinions, go home." So now I'm on standby I have to call in twice a day to see if they're going to put me through that process again. I know perfectly well that with my feelings about police, if I answer honestly, I'll never be seated on a jury (these being criminal trials, there will inevitably be police as witnesses), but since I don't have a strong desire to participate to that extent, I'm not about to dissemble. Now, if, for instance, it were some kind of vice case ... that would be motivation. But even then, I kind of doubt that I'd be accepted. Mostly, the experience has made me even more cynical (is such a thing possible?) about the justice system I mean, the logic of making 100 people skip work for several days
while they choose 14 of them to sit for two weeks deciding whether someone ... oh, never mind. It all rather disgusted me, that's all. Worst of all was the judge, though. I mean, this is a well-paid, highly-respected professional, right? And all she did, all day long, was sit up there instructing us in tones & terms most reminiscent of a kindergarten teacher. Yes, distinctly patronizing. A tape recording would've been more effective.
Anyhow they didn't need me today, and they don't need me tomorrow, and Thursday's a holiday for them, so Friday is the only other day this week that I might have to go in. And then Monday's another holiday ... such a gruelling schedule! ... And I'll be starting chemo on Tuesday, so on the off chance that they do need me the rest of the week, I suspect that one look at the line sticking out of my arm will be enough to make them discharge me immediately. I do so enjoy the occasional mileage that I can get out of my Diseased Pariah status.
(Or, as I tell people when I wear my Birkenstocks and they ask if my feet don't get cold, "Peripheral Neuropathy is a wonderful thing.")
I'm really looking forward to Saturday night. Not only is it closing night
(halleluia!), but Marc & Joe will be here (did I already tell you about this? I've told so many people ...) Marc is my first lover, from '81; he & Joe have been together twelve years, and although I don't think Marc will recognize himself in any character, the concept of the play is due in large part to my subsequent friendship with him. And there is a character who is modelled after their Shar-pei, named Pooh. A joke that only they will appreciate. It means a great deal to me that they're coming out to see it. (From Memphis, yet.) And of course it's Valentine's Day ... I'm glad they chose to spend it with me. I've always felt 'part of' their relationship, in some paternal (maternal?) way, and rather proud of it.
I've dragged this out quite long enough ... I need to get some sleep. If I can
love,
Scott
The above material is copyrighted to Will Clark and is used with written permission.